Here’s a play-by-play of the ad in all its absurdity: A woman sits alone, destined to be an old maid. She spots the man of her dreams. Her pearly 3D White smile is not held back, knowing this may be her only chance and the stakes are high. She envisions herself and this stranger in Paris, then on the beach in wedding attire. Finally, she dreams of rubbing that coveted baby bump, made possible by “the loving father to [her] children.” He sits with her by the end,  and she is one step closer to acquiring a ring on her finger and a bun in the oven.

Because that is what every woman wants: to be a white, heterosexual lady who meets a white, heterosexual prince to marry and have babies with. All in under half a minute.

Media Smart’s section titled How to Catch (and Keep) Your Man looks at Women and Weight: Gendered Messages on Magazine Covers by Amy Malin, Kimberlie Wornian and Joan Chrisler. As it turns out, having white teeth is only one way to catch your man. Another, of course, is to be skinny: “messages about weight loss are often placed next to messages about men and relationships … ‘Get the Body You Really Want’ beside ‘How to Get Your Husband to Really Listen,’ and ‘Stay Skinny’ paired with ‘What Men Really Want.'” The section also includes research findings from The Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media: “A 2008 study of female leads in G-rated films found that nearly all were valued primarily for their appearance and were focused primarily on winning the love of a male character.”

Crest 3D White’s official YouTube channel has this awesome commercial for those of us who need to relive the magic when we’re surfing the net instead of channels. The comments worry me. Some people got the offensiveness right away. Their comments range from the simple, “Why can’t she say hello to him?” to the blunt, “That’s sexist.” There were a few too many comments hinting that the female character’s thought process is typical of all women. The largest demographic for US YouTube subscribers is the 18 to 34 years old crowd at 67 per cent, male and female viewers are nearly equal.

One comment reads, “I am SO fucking glad I’m not the only one who finds this commercial weird and creepy.”

Right?

“Bitches be trippin’ hardcore if you just see a dude and automatically think about spending the rest of your life with him.”

And that’s where they lose me.

I won’t get into the obvious about not being keen on my gender being referred to as “bitches” but this is Internet land and I’m not so naïve to think it is void of such language. The issue is that people weren’t voicing that the commercial itself was crazy, but the woman’s character. People think is an accurate portrayal of a woman’s thought process and goals. How are we having this discussion in 2013?

I didn’t think I’d have to say this, but women aren’t twiddling their thumbs waiting for some man to grace them with love, a home and babies. And men aren’t around merely to give ovaries that special child-making ingredient. Some think marketers have grown wise, if not ethically conscientious, to the fact that commercials like these are offensive and passé. This Crest ad was, “just the frosting on the cake I’ll be baking in my kitchen where I belong,” says Katie Speak in a blog post on this topic.

The commercial asks, “What will a 3D white smile do for you?” Nothing. The thought of buying this garbage makes my teeth grind.

Screen capture from MissRepresentation.org

Earlier this month Disney stores pulled sexist Avengers girls’ T-shirts with slogans like “I need a hero” and “I only kiss heroes” off the shelves. The boys’ shirts reading, “Be a hero” remained. These old clichés were quickly called out on the internet. The message to boys that they need to be tough, the notion that girls need saving, and the idea that only heterosexual females want to kiss a hero. These messages did not go over well. And rightfully so.

Over 1,000 tweets about the shirt were sent with the hash tag NotBuyingIt, made by feminist and media watchdog organization Miss Representation, named after Jennifer Siebel Newsom’s popular documentary. Nearly 8,000 people signed the group’s petition over the shirt.

The NotBuyingIt hash tag is used when people find a type of media sexist. Go Daddy commercials, for instance, have earned top place with the most #notbuyingit tweets ever at 7,829. Miss Representation is currently campaigning on Indiegogo to raise money for a new app. (Pssst … This Magazine also has an Indiegogo campaign to check out.) The app, also named Not Buying It, will allow users to upload media they find sexist, or inspiring, to share with peers and the companies involved. It will also track and share the geographic locations getting the most attention and the areas where people are speaking out the most. Canada’s center for digital and media literacy, Media Smarts, reports people living in urban centres see up to 5,000 ads a day (Find out the mediums they list here). This app will offer the chance to use media in a positive way when faced with offensive marketing.

Apps geared to the ethical consumer aren’t new. In fact, they have a witty moniker: Apptivism.

The Not For Sale Campaign released the Free2Work mobile application. It was first released a couple years ago in time for the holiday season. A consumer can scan a bar code while shopping to see which company makes the product. They can then view the company’s ratings, based on the organization’s evaluations, on transparency, policies, monitoring, and worker’s rights.

The Good Shopping Guide app, by The Ethical Company Organisation, has information on over 700 famous brands, organized into seven categories: food and drink, health and beauty, travel, energy, fashion, home and office, and money. Included are ethical ratings and in-depth reports on each company.

Shoppers in Europe have Barcoo. Users can scan a barcode to find information such as sustainability, nutritional information and a seasonal vegetables list.

Games have also entered the scene. The Apptivist Studio’s slogan is, “Game for change.” It released its first game, Minke Rescue, where players must survive as Minke Whales living in the “harsh” Antarctic Ocean and dodging whaling ships.  The game sells for $2, sixty cents of which goes to Sea Shepherd Conservation Society.

Applications can have a more narrowed focus. Vegans and vegetarians can find a wide variety of helpful tools in iTunes. PETA and Ethical Bean Coffee, among other groups, have also gotten in on the fun.

Last year half of Canadian cell phone users were using smart phones and Rogers research found 68 per cent were buying and using apps. An eMarketer 2012 forecast predicts 14 million Canadians will be smartphone users by next year.

Last month, the power of #notbuyingit forced Amazon UK to take down offensive shirts reading, Keep Calm and Rape a lot and Keep Calm and Hit Her, under 24 hours. Go Daddy received 7,000 Not Buying It tweets during the Super Bowl.

So now when those villainous Angry Birds pigs have pushed you over the edge, or you’re bored of zombiefy-ing pictures of your cat, your app prowess can be used to make informed, ethical, shopping decisions.